Thursday, February 24, 2011

God and Human



Up there is a big temple with a big shrine. Painted and polished just like a gentleman’s black shoe. Down there is a small temple with a steeple curved and bent as if it topples down. Daily it’s like a fair in the big temple engulfed with pleasant adore of incense, sonorous chanting of verses, singing of hymn etc. But what a pity to the small and the old one where hardly few lousy women would bend their head. But interestingly, both temples are of lord Shiva.
People worship that temple, pay homage, pilgrims come from far away. The temple is always full of devotees. Milk and sweets are offered to god Shiva. Fruits and flowers cover the idol. People believe in god. They go on worshipping and worshipping because they have to wash away their sin or have to complete their vow and pray for something. It seems those milk, sweets, flowers and even money offered to the god are like bribing god to fulfill their needs and desires.
They believe someday they will get salvation and wash away their sin, so they are on their way to hard penance and worship to get the god and his grace.
Temple is again full today. Comparatively bit more people than usual, since it’s a sacred day and people believe it’s the best day to worship.
Bells are being banged. Whole temple is covered with the flock of devotee with fruits, milks, sweets, money etc. sacred verses and spells are being chanted. Some people are quarreling for the line to worship, blaming each other for trespassing the line and row.
An old man, completely in a rags from top to the toe, face full of white beard and moustache; squatting, needless to say he is a beggar. His hands are trembling, vividly showing his hunger and weakness. Scruffy hairs, stinking unpleasantly in such a way anyone can sniff two miles away. His eyes are anticipating mercy for food and hands are continuously begging for alms. Alas, nobody bother even to glace him. He is wishing if somebody feeds him.
He is continuously begging people. Once in a while he gets but many of the time empty handed. He is continuously staring at the effigy of lord shiva, over flooded by sweets (laddu), flowers, money, milk and fruits. He wishes if he could eat those things given to the idol. Near the temple there’s a small restaurant (Bhatti) full of sweets and fast food items. A fat middle aged man is yawning in the counter, sometime swings his baton to the monkeys wandering around.
The poor beggar, gazing at the sweets offered to lord shiva, takes a gulp of saliva and what else he can do. He feels human has love and respect to only the idol of god. Human don’t walk on the right way shown by the god but instead commit lots of insane and unraveled sins and finally join the long line in the temple to wash them out.
The whole day this old fellow stays perceiving human and their love for god. Inside the temple, god is full of fruits and foods, outside, the beggar is dying of starvation. God has majestic home i.e. temple but this old fellow is homeless, foodless. Everybody is caring and worshipping god inside but outside not even a single one turning eye to the poor man. No pity at all. Inside, the idol is washed by milk, outside no water even to quench the thirst of that poor beggar. Flock of people lining to worship and offer things to the idol but no single hand to tame the old beggar’s wounded heart…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Suddenly, the old beggar raises his body. Sluggishly, gazes at the temple and effigy of the god. Surprisingly, he has might to stand and walk now. It seems the mighty falcon is about to hover around the blue horizon. Now he is heading back from where he came. Astonishingly, his steps are not like the old beggar’s earlier but like the fastest leopard leaping and heading to the unknown destination……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..


subhash thapa  magar



Sunday, February 20, 2011

A story

A story



It’s been 10 years; I haven’t met her even once. When I saw her with no any reason at all so sudden, I could hardly believe my eyes. She turned so bounded housewife. I then plunged into those memories that I tried to erase but I couldn’t.

The day was so bright, beautiful and charming when I first asked her for a date. It hadn’t been so long being friends but we were close enough to ask her a favor.  It was my very first day for a date and she Okayed with no any sign of hesitation. What fascinated me towards her I never tried to probe it. I was just driven crazy about her with no reason at all. She was not even a beauty of my class nor was I.

The day we went out for the first time was a park bit away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Whether the day was glowing or I was with her alone I couldn’t stop admiring the beauty of nature myself. We were talking so closely as if we were well known for many years. I was determined that day, I would express her. My little inexperienced mind triggered me; that’s the opportunity to disclose her how much I love her and want to live rest of my life happily forever with her . I thought she wouldn’t have come or have denied my proposal for a day visit, if she didn’t have any feeling towards me. I was searching for the apt timing and a topic to express her.

We started in the morning. We talked about trees, about plants, about birds and the beautiful flowers. Morning broke into the bright day. Day turned into a beautiful evening. We passed our childish days and memories but the rose in my heart was still left to bloom and finally dusk made its merciless entrance but still I was wondering what to say. The time had come to say good bye but I was still searching for the words.

 I got some guts out of nowhere but still my heart was pounding so rigorously. When it was exactly the time to say bye, words suddenly slipped from my lips: “I… lo..ve… you”. Instantly I pretended as though I was murmuring. She turned her face, filled with exclamation and terror. She replied, “What?” I thought she didn’t get it and suddenly I burst without a second delay “nothing”. She gazed me with a peculiar eyes, breathed a deep sigh and raised her hands to greet me bye. It seems she was thanking me for the day break.

               From that day she didn’t show up next time. She had written a letter for me. Finally I got the letter from her friend. The letter explained her heart, her feelings and everything. She was from an orthodox religious family where her religion did matter rather then her feelings. Her community was different from my community and I was a guy from another religion. She had that compulsion not to marry a man different to her religion. I was aghast. “Does really religion matter?”. I wondered why for many minutes but what I could do. Her family thought it as a sin to marry another guy not alike her.

She was bounded. Nothing else she could do, just to be the puppet of her family. She couldn’t revolt since she was a responsible daughter of her family. Her desires and wants were just mere towards her family responsibility. What her family anticipated, she couldn’t go betraying them and I also dared not to force her. After all she was bound to abandon me though she liked me. I was stroke as if a mighty tornado caught me and rampaged me with no mercy at all. I finished her letter and was finished too. Since then she vanished leaving me half dead. I could do nothing, nothing just to walk on the same lane where I used to wander.

I was aghast when I saw her today after so long. She was also in the same town where I have been and now I came to believe this world is too big. She also couldn’t believe her eyes. We couldn’t exchange a word though we encountered each other. She was trying to say something; her eyes seemed to be guilty. She frantically said “hi”, how have you been?’, and my throat soared. My heart rendered. I couldn’t even reply back. We paused. After a while I got some guts and had small conversation.

            “I haven’t seen you so long. Where have you been? What are you doing?” my questions came in rush like a horse without rein. She just replied patiently-“fine and you?” she didn’t answer my all question. A minute talking meant a lot to me that time. I realized this is the life and everyone has to walk with it. Sometime time is ours and many times it is not.

            We raised our hands to greet our final bye. I couldn’t ask for a date and she couldn’t reply me okay.



















                                                                                                                         










subhash thapa magar